maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
