thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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