White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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