id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I need water and some morals
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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