It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
