He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
