like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
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