He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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