just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
