come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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