I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
