"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
