her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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