this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
