I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize