I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
