I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize