well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Randomize
