Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
