My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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