My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
