I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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