It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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