i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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