The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize