They should really pass out barf bags in church
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
