Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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