Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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