Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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