I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
