Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
