Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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