i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
