I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
