based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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