Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
