My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
