You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
