I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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