She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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