At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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