u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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