sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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