You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
