I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
