I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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