I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
