dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
