I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Randomize
