Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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