Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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