I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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