Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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