just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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