Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
