It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
