I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
