just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
