just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
