this beer tastes like vomit already
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize