So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Couch. On fire.
Randomize